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The bed in the corner of the lounge reminds him of a prison cell.
For five years he was held captive in it by his own huge body, unable to get up even once in all that time.
At his heaviest, Norman Nel (42) weighed 300kg and he hated himself.
His weight stole everything from him and he was in mortal danger from hypertension and sky-high cholesterol.
He was also deeply depressed and his relationship with his wife, Melanie (42), was strained.
“There were times I didn’t want to live anymore,” Norman says.
But those days are over now.
He knew he had to do something drastic or Melanie and his daughter, Micayla (16), would be burying him.
Norman, who lives in Bellville, Cape Town, ditched the fad diets that had seen his weight yo-yo dramatically over the years and stuck to a high-fat, low-carb, zero-sugar diet that’s helped him lose 120kg.
His goal is to lose another 30kg by the end of the year, which will take him to 150kg.
Then he’ll be on his way to his ultimate goal weight of 100kg.
Norman is determined to keep on the straight and narrow.
“Look,” he says, pushing himself up off the couch – something he couldn’t do late last year.
“Three months ago I could pull myself up with a walker and keep standing. A month ago, I was able to walk outside for the first time.
“Now I walk, still using the walker, around the block every day.”
The 10XL shirts that used to be too tight are now far too big, as are the shorts that once strained to contain his bulk.
Norman recently got behind the wheel of his car for the first time in 10 years and joined Melanie and Micayla on a trip to Betty’s Bay along the Cape South Coast.
“When I think of where I was a year ago,” he says, wiping away tears. “Every gram lost brings me closer to the person I want to be – and I’ll never be a prisoner in my own body again.”
Norman is sharing his story now for one reason: to tell other people who might be trapped inside an unhealthy body that if he can do it, “so can you”.
He is a big guy – nearly 2m tall – but he’d always been a normal weight until 12 years ago.
He and Melanie, who were both working as admin clerks, started eating out of pure boredom, he says.
“We didn’t realise what was really happening.”
Before he knew it, he’d reached 120kg and the needle on the scale kept going up and up.
As his weight ballooned, Norman withdrew into himself.
“People mocked me,” he says. “They pointed at me when I went into town. Someone even told my wife she must be feeding me chocolate every day.
“The disgust in people’s eyes got so bad I didn’t want to go out anymore. Later I couldn’t fit into the car anymore anyway.”
Melanie wells up.
“It was Norman’s choice to stay home, but it suited me. I couldn’t handle the looks anymore.”
By that stage Norman was no longer working and his life revolved around food.
He was seriously overeating, indulging in carbs, fatty foods and chips and often going to bed with a 2-litre bottle of sugary cooldrink by his side.
Over the years he tried to lose weight.
In 2016 he went on a detox programme and lost 15kg in 10 days.
“I ate almost nothing,” he says.
“A little cabbage and some fruit and aloe juice and on the seventh day I had a small chicken fillet. The weight loss was so dramatic I continued with the diet for 73 days.”
It was a disaster: a drastic loss in muscle mass and a near-fatal electrolyte imbalance resulted in him being hospitalised.
Movement became impossible – he couldn’t walk or even stand upright and spent four weeks in hospital.
“Back home, I still didn’t have enough strength in my arms and legs, so the plan was that I recuperate in bed,” he says.
Melanie set up a bed in the living room and he took to it gratefully.
“But what I didn’t know at the time was that I wouldn’t be getting out of that bed anytime soon.”
Bedridden and bored, Norman regained the weight he lost in a matter of weeks.
“I was so weak and so large I had to use a bedpan to relieve myself,” Norman says.
“I want people to know how bad it really was. I lost my life. I wasn’t involved in my child’s life. She started suffering from depression because of what was happening to me. For three months she wouldn’t come into the living room.
“Melanie had to take on everything – the responsibilities with Micayla, cooking, the home maintenance. She worked herself to the bone to keep us afloat.”
It took its toll, Melanie admits.
“I love this man so much,” she says, resting a hand on Norman’s shoulder. “But there were times I didn’t know where to turn. The pressure was going to break me.”
And all the while Norman sank deeper and deeper into a pit of depression.
“Some days, I’d lie here face down, begging the Lord to give me strength. After a while I started making pies, here on the bed, with a gas stove next to me and a platform I rolled the dough out on – anything to help Melanie with our expenses. I felt like a failure.
“I was a failure.”
Norman knew the only person who could change things was himself – and for good this time.
He embarked on a lifestyle change, ditched all the foods he’d gorged on for years and stuck to a high-fat, low-carb eating plan.By autumn last year he was down to 234kg, but then “I nearly lost the plot again”, he says.
His discipline kicked in however – helped by Melanie, who also decided to change her diet and shed 20kg in the process.
Slowly but surely Norman’s weight started melting off and he began to regain his life bit by bit.
His family keeps him going and he’s determined to persevere this time round.
“I decided I want to live for them – truly live, not just exist. I knew I could be a better husband and father. It was my greatest desire.”
The secret to their success this time seems to be that they’re doing it together.
“I realised my husband needs me,” Melanie says.
“We knew it would be a challenge with a teenager in the home, but we’ve overcome loads of challenges before. This time we had to give it everything because we were both so afraid it might be the last chance.”
Melanie and Norman plan and prepare their meals in advance – most of the time serving a protein with loads of vegetables and healthy carbs.
“My motivation now is the old-new things I get to experience all over again,” he says. “Like driving in a car again, feeling the sun on my skin, having a cup of coffee by the ocean.
“I didn’t think I’d get my life back. I was in the deepest, darkest hole. But I got up and said, ‘I want to live’.
“And though I still have a long way to go, I now know it’s possible. And if it can mean something to even one person, my struggle wouldn’t have been in vain.”
