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Growing up, Matthew Gilfellow always knew he was different from his peers. Matthew, from Mitchells Plain in the Western Cape, identifies as demisexual and gay.
Demisexuality refers to people who only feel a sexual attraction to someone after they’ve formed a strong emotional bond with them.
The 22-year-old says he's never come out to his family but the support from his family has allowed him to live his life to the fullest.
This is Matthew's story:
“Growing up, I was surrounded by a lot of men in my family and I was taught that being masculine was the only way to be.
I was often bullied by my own family at school and in the community. They would call me names that I, as a six-year-old boy, couldn't understand.
I also had to watch my brothers beating gay people, which played a role in my decision never to share with my family that I'm gay.
It didn’t make sense to me that I had to tell them I'm gay before they could love me. It should come naturally to them and my sexual and gender identity shouldn’t influence or change that.
I never celebrated Pride Month because I was afraid someone would see me and tell my parents and siblings.
READ MORE| MY STORY| My life is so much better since coming out as trans
However, I have come out to my friends and my romantic partner.
Now I embrace being called gay and when I think of that little boy I used to be, I wish he could've been understood more by his family.
The friends I have now have shown me support and they are now the people I truly consider my family.
Growing up in a society like mine, where having multiple sexual partners was normalised, I knew I was different. And I wanted to be part of something greater.
When I finally came out to myself that I am gay and demisexual I felt emotionally validated.
I wish that homophobic people could understand that we just want to live, we want to be ourselves.
We are not here to push any agenda, or to force any gender on others."
EXTRA SOURCE: CLEVELANDCLINIC.ORG
