Publications
Partners
This story was first published on 01 February 2023.
A tattoo on her arm is her way of feeling close to the husband who was ripped suddenly from her life nearly a year ago.
The inkwork is of one of her favourite pictures of him: his fingers are covering one eye, his hands are adorned with rings and he’s wearing chains around his neck.
She thinks of him every time she sees the image, remembering the loving father he was, the caring husband, the driven musician, the caring soul who worked hard to cultivate and support new talent.
Her two children are also constant reminders of him, Bianca Naidoo says, and of the family unit they once cherished.
Yet, while Riky Rick’s death has left a gaping hole in their lives, the 40-year-old mom of two is working hard to preserve his legacy and it’s helping to fill the void.
She’s involved with organising Cotton Fest, the festival the rapper founded in 2019 to celebrate up-and-coming artists, which will be held in Johannesburg on 4 February.
Bianca has also helped to revamp Legends Barbershop, Riky’s salon franchise.
“We’ve been able to celebrate his 35 years of life,” she says.
“I’m grateful to my family and for being able to do the first Cotton Fest in Cape Town [in December last year]. I’m grateful for an amazing team that understand his vision, and who respect and understand me.”
Despite her heartache and workload, Bianca greets us with a warm hug and a big smile when she welcomes us to her home in Waterfall, Midrand.
She’s just collected kids Jordan (14) and Maik (8) from school and her phone won’t stop ringing with calls about Cotton Fest.
“Things have been hectic,” she tells us, “but we’re going to have a nice chat now.”
Riky’s presence lives on in the home, which is adorned with portraits of the late producer, TV personality and hip-hop superstar who’d been battling depression and died by suicide last year.
The past year has been a roller-coaster, says Bianca, who was also her husband’s manager. She says she’s taking each day as it comes.
“I’ve decided this year I’m not going to put pressure on myself,” she says. “I’m trying to figure out a lot of things and I want to ensure I make Riky proud. I want to be a great mom and support our kids.
“It’s a lot of learning, this new normal. Trying to understand and deal with grief.”
READ MORE| How the shocking death of Riky Rick has shone a spotlight on the mental health of South African men
Bianca met Riky, whose real name was Rikhado Makhado, in 2013 on a night out with friends shortly before he became a household name.
“It was so casual,” she recalls. “We hardly spoke that night.”
Still, she was taken with the handsome musician so she asked a friend to pass her phone number onto him.
“And then we chatted over the phone. I don’t know if he was scared [to make the first move].
“I guess he was just doing the right thing. I’m a shy and private person. I think he did it out of respect and it worked out.”
She was drawn to his “infectious aura,” Bianca says. “I’ve said this quite often before: I know the fact that Riky and I were put together was God’s work. It was meant to be.
“I feel like we were part of the same tree. There were just so many things that made sense. It was just right.”
At the time she was a single mom to Jordan, her daughter from a previous relationship, and Riky “just slipped into our lives”.
When their son, Maik, was born they became “the most amazing family unit”, she says.
That family unit was something she will always cherish because no matter how busy Riky was, he was always aware that he was a father and husband first.
“Whenever there was a gap to do family stuff, he’d always find time to do it,” Bianca says.
“He made all the effort in the world to make sure he was present, even when he was tired. He worked a lot, but he’d always do activities with the kids.
“Maik learned so much from Riky because he was so present. I’m so grateful for that.”
The family loved cooking together, she says, adding with a sad laugh, “He was a better cook than I am.”
The day he died was the worst one of her life. “I don’t know how I got through that. There were just too many things that I had to process.
“Having to tell the kids. I don’t even know how I was feeling. I can’t even remember if I was numb.
“Survival mode kicked in, not for myself, but for the children and everyone else around me.”
The toughest conversation was telling Jordan and Maik that they’d never see the most important man in their life again.
“I tried to be open and honest with my children because I wanted them to know what had happened from me,” she says.
Six months after Riky’s passing, she told the SABC how the day before Riky died, she’d had the “most beautiful conversation” with her husband.
“We spoke about everything, just life, us, the kids, and the way he was feeling.
“That conversation gave me a lot of peace because any questions or doubts were spoken about in the conversation we had.”
She also spoke to Riky a few hours before he died.
“His last words to me were ‘I’m on my way home and love you’. I went to bed and when I woke up two hours later and realised that he wasn’t home, I didn’t get concerned right away, because sometimes he’d stay late in the studio.”
When she still couldn’t get hold of him after dropping the kids at school the next morning, she started to panic. And eventually the terrible truth was discovered.
READ MORE| How a 95-year-old man found love again with the 82-year-old sister of his late wife
Close friends and family have helped her and the kids navigate the grieving process, Bianca says, but it’s been tough.
“I miss everything about him. The kids are constant reminders of him, but in everything I do, he is there.”
Special days – the kids’ birthdays, their wedding anniversary, Father’s Day, Christmas, New Year – have been especially painful as they’re a reminder of Riky’s absence.
“I’m grateful I’ve been able to get through the hard days,” she says. “It’s been very difficult, but we’re always looking at God and making it through. It’s just hard not to feel like it could be so different if he was still here.”
But when she looks at her children and sees their resilience, she realises it’s all part of the healing process.
“The kids have taught me so much. If they can keep going, who am I to not try?”
Sources: News24, KayaFM, SABCNews
