Intimacy and sex tend to be used interchangeably, but they are not the same thing

• Intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs, says the word "intimacy" is often misconstrued for sex.
• Sometimes casual sex requires no vulnerability, and therefore very intimate acts are performed for pure pleasure and the erotic experience - that is sex.
• On the other hand, intimacy is not only for romantic relationships - it is possible to have a  deep connection with a close friend, colleague or even a stranger.

Intimacy and sex tend to be used interchangeably, but they do not mean the same thing.

Intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs, says the word "intimacy" is often misconstrued for sex when intimacy is all about connection. After all, it is human to crave a relationship connection and feel seen and loved as it brings a sense of belonging. 

"There is space for curiosity and empathy when there is a connection in any relationship. The ability to be present for one another, be non-defensive and be willing to 'hear' each other is a winning formula for creating beautiful intimacy in all relationships," she says.

"Connection is closeness, a sense of knowing the other, and the ties that bind us together. Sexual intimacy is just one of five ways couples can achieve intimacy." 

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Tracy explains that sexual intimacy is any sexual activity that connects people.

"This does not always mean sexual penetration, but instead activities that result in pleasure. For example, kissing, massage, cuddling, tantra, and play (toys, ethical porn, fetishism, kink)," she says.

But because sex (intercourse) can evoke feelings of deep vulnerability, for some, being vulnerable with another is a very intimate experience that is reserved for people where trust, safety, consent, and honesty are vital. 

"Sometimes casual sex requires no vulnerability, and therefore very intimate acts are performed for pure pleasure and the erotic experience. In this case, neither person is risking anything by engaging in this sexual experience," she adds. 

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She adds that intimacy is not only for romantic relationships and that it is possible to have a deep connection with a really close friend, colleague or even a stranger. 

"When we connect and are open to being vulnerable with another, there needs to be the understanding that we both feel safe to share with honesty and transparency. If only one is daring to be vulnerable and the other is guarded, trust is broken, and there is a sense of shame reminding oneself that it's too risky to trust again."