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Partners
- Dr Portia Monnapula-Mazabane explains personality disorders and romance.
- To be in love with someone living with either of these personality disorders can be difficult.
- Seeking therapy and support can help women address underlying issues contributing to their attraction to dangerous people.
Stories of women falling in love with convicted criminals are always shocking but very common. The controversy around Dr Nandipha Magudumana and Facebook rapist and murderer Thabo Bester has amplified conversations around what makes women fall for people society perceives as 'dangerous'.
What would make a woman fall in love with a criminal?
Dr Portia Monnapula-Mazabane says personality disorders usually have a significant role in the behaviour of those with criminal records, including antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder, conditions with psychopathic traits in their criteria.
READ MORE | The art of manipulation: A psychologist explains why some women fall for criminals
"People with Antisocial personality disorders can be extremely charming and likeable but also highly manipulative. They have a specific belief about themselves, including a false belief that they are actually better than others. They, as a result, lack remorse or concern over their behaviour, even if that means engaging in criminal activity."
She adds that to be in love with someone who is living with either of these personality disorders can be difficult. "It is possible to nurture a relationship with an individual with one of these personality disorders, but it will likely require significant effort from both you and your partner. It is important for women [to be] aware of these tactics and to seek help if they believe scammers or criminals are targeting them."
READ MORE | When love exists in dysfunction: Expert explains toxic on-again, off-again relationships
Antisocial personality disorder is a mental health condition that can vary in severity.
Those with this diagnosis often exhibit the following:
- Irresponsible behaviour
- Lack of concern for others
- Disregard for laws and social norms
- Charming and manipulative persona
- Lack of remorse
- Risk-taking behaviours
- Poor impulse control
- Disregard for the safety of self and others
- Aggression or irritability
Borderline personality disorder is another mental disorder characterised by intense fluctuations in mood, behaviour, and interaction with others.
Symptoms that may indicate the presence of BPD include:
- Unstable relationships
- Unstable self-image
- Poor impulse control
- Self-destructive behaviours
- Extreme mood swings
- Explosive anger
- Paranoia and dissociation
While antisocial personality disorder can be identified with a lack of emotions, an individual with a borderline personality disorder may experience intense emotions that are difficult to process safely and healthily.
READ MORE | In a toxic relationship? Here’s how to handle it
Dr Monnapula-Mazabane says both these disorders can contribute to someone's thought processes and decision-making.
"It is also important to remember that criminals who are behind bars may not be suitable partners, as they may pose a risk to their partners' safety and well-being. Seeking therapy and support can help women address underlying issues that may be contributing to their attraction to dangerous individuals."
