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- Parenting is not only a lifetime commitment but also comes with a lifetime of learning.
- Anxiety about becoming a parent is normal.
- Post-baby weight loss methods need to be well-researched.
Having a baby is considered such a natural part of life that people assume the transition into parenthood is easy. Though it may come easier to some than it does to others, any parent has a lifetime of lessons to learn.
Two years into parenthood, I am not an expert, but there are a few things I have learned thus far (along with some advice from Philips Avent) that will be helpful to the next new parent.
1. Anxiety is normal
Feeling anxious about what lies on the horizon is only natural if you have never done something.
But, if it starts to affect your mental and physical well-being, it is best to consult a professional and seek help that will provide you with the tools to navigate your anxiety healthily.
If professional help is something that you cannot afford, something as simple as finding a safe space to speak about your concerns may be helpful. Suppose you cannot turn to a friend or family member. In that case, there are countless apps, social media groups, and forums - some with the option of remaining anonymous - where you can get things off your chest and potentially find a sympathetic ear.
2. No two stories are the same
Before welcoming your child, make peace with the idea that much of what you were hoping for with your birth story and transition into parenthood may not go according to plan.
All of what you see on TV differs from how it may go. When giving birth, remember to stay as present as you can throughout the process and have someone with you who can support you and document as much of the process as possible for your memories. Keep a journal to jot down your thoughts and feelings at different points.
Lastly, always look for the positives - there may be more than you could have thought.
3. You always have rights
In your research and preparation for parenthood, make a note to brush up on your medical rights, what rights you have in the workplace, and your rights to UIF assistance.
People may not listen to an expectant mother and might try to make decisions for her, and knowing your rights may empower you to stand firm in ensuring that this does not happen. If you don't want to have to worry about this, speak to whoever your birthing partner is or consider hiring a doula to serve as your birthing advocate.
READ MORE | What you need to know about claiming maternity benefits from the UIF
4. It's okay not to know what to do
There is a lot to plan for and attend to in the lead-up to a birth of a little one, so figuring out where to start after a pregnancy is confirmed may be a little confusing.
I, for one, had no idea where to start regarding my medical care. Had it not been for my GP and his recommendations, I may not have found the facility of medical professionals who went on to become my birthing team.
A birthing team of the right medical professionals is best to answer any questions about the costs associated with prenatal care and delivery.
Your team's information will also help in your budgeting, not only for the arrival of the baby but for the maternity leave period.
During maternity leave, you may only earn a portion of your income or no income at all, depending on the policy at the company you work for. It is best to consider budgeting and saving in a way that allows you to cover your expenses and incidentals during this period.
5. Your partner is going through it too
Often, the focus is on the pregnant person as people prepare for parenthood in a relationship where one party carries the baby, but, most times, more than one person will be responsible for the child.
This means that even the parent who is not pregnant may have the same concerns, not just about the gestational period but also after the baby is born.
Speak to the other parent about your concerns as often as necessary and acknowledge the other parent's feelings.
Consider speaking about your respective parenting ideas too. This includes topics like how you want to raise your child and whether or not you'd like to sign up for parenting and prenatal classes.
6. The early days are crucial bonding time
The work of bonding with your child should begin as soon as possible. Both parents should do as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.
"Your baby loves feeling, hearing, and smelling your presence which gives them a sense of protection and calm. Hug, touch, talk, and stroke your child as much as possible. Your newborn can start smiling back within a few days when people smile at them," advised Avent.
This is also the best time to learn how to communicate with your newborn. There is also no need to speak to your child using baby talk. They can hear and will soon start memorising and copying your words, so it is best to speak normally as early as possible.
Not sure what to say? Greet them in the morning and narrate activities throughout the day. Don't feel silly saying, "We're going to have dinner now before we take a bath and change your outfit."
Part of learning to communicate with your baby involves better understanding why they are crying.
"A newborn baby cannot look after itself and relies on you to attend to its needs. A baby will cry when hungry, if it has a soiled nappy, is tired, needs a cuddle, has wind, is too hot or cold, or is bored or overstimulated."
If your little one is crying, check for the basics. Check the last time somebody fed them, changed their nappy, or put them down for a nap. If neither of these things works, try holding the baby, giving them a soother, or checking if they are too hot or cold. If the baby still does not stop crying, you must see a paediatrician who will assess the baby and advise accordingly.
7. Don't punish yourself to get your body to look the way you want
Carrying a baby takes a significant toll on the body, and though most moms "snap back" into pre-baby shape quite quickly, not everyone has the same result.
Seeing celebrities like Lamiez Holworthy and Faith Nketsi look like they were never even pregnant can place unnecessary pressure on women who are self-conscious about how they look.
This period may also make new moms more susceptible to suggestions of shortcuts to weight loss. Quick fixes like wearing a belly binder, going on a juice cleanse or crash dieting are ill-advised. Speak to your gynaecologist and ask for recommendations for other healthcare professionals who could help you healthily achieve your weight loss goals.
Some changes happen to the body that you cannot change back through diet and exercise.
Some women have larger breasts and broader hips after pregnancy, while others have to contend with sagging skin around the belly area and larger feet.
It is important to remember what a severe medical event childbirth is and that your body needs time to recover before you can get back to chasing your goal weight.
