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- 25-year-old Sam Mzingelwa has publicly disclosed their HIV status and is feeling free to live their life.
- Keeping it a secret was so hard for them and they could not date or be in a relationship with anyone.
- Since their diagnosis, life has not stopped. Instead, the vision for their life has become bigger.
- GOOD NEWS DAY IS BACK! News24 celebrates the people restoring pride in our country. Read their stories here
After publicly disclosing their HIV status, Sam Mzingelwa's life has lit up, and they could not be happier. "I feel lighter. Something is off my shoulders. I am free," they said.
The decision to make let the world know via social media came five years after Sam was left shocked and devastated when their HIV test was positive.
Sam thought it was piles and decided to go to the clinic. Little did they know that they would be taken into a HIV testing room. Sam, who is a non-binary queer person, had not tested in two years, but wasn't worried.
It felt like a bad nightmare when the two red lines appeared on the testing kit. Feelings of shame, bitterness and hopelessness overtook their life. It didn't help that they are from a small town, Kayamandi, Cape Town, where stigma, particularly as a queer person, is rife. People would rather suffer depression and let their health deteriorate because of fear of going to the clinic, testing and taking their medication.
The fear crept in. "What will people say?" Sam thought.
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"I had to tell someone because I felt like I was going to do something stupid. The difficult part is acceptance, particularly because of the stigma." Sam shared.
Their best friend had always supported them and, even when they disclosed their sexuality, was the first person to know. "My best friend held my hand every step of the way, and I had a support structure.
"We cried," Sam said. But there was reassurance that all would be well.
"I was blaming a lot of people. I was blaming my partner. I didn't want to take responsibility. I felt he was at fault, but I was also not careful enough," Sam says.
Sam locked themself in their room and felt hopeless for days. Eventually, they decided to move out of home, but the decision was based on the fact that they were trying to run away from the triggers that would constantly remind them that they were keeping a huge secret from their family.
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"I was 20. I was ashamed and didn’t want my family to see me lose weight or suffer those side effects," Sam says.
"Keeping it a secret was so hard. It was difficult for me because I didn’t want to date or be in a relationship with anyone. [But now that I have spoken out], people know who I am, and I am living my life positively. I no longer have to hide my pills and am not ashamed. I take my pills, and nothing has changed. It [HIV] is not written on my forehead."
Towards the end of 2020, Sam disclosed to family and close friends that in 2023, they would not start a new year of "hiding" again.
"I told myself that I want to free myself from all the things holding me back in my life. Although it was not easy, but it felt right.
"I'm living my life to the fullest," Sam says, adding, "If I want to wear a skirt, I do it. I don’t want to be boxed. I took the decision to figure out who I am, and I am non-binary. I changed my pronouns from he/him to they/them/their."
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Sam has forgiven their partner for infecting them, saying, "I forgave him because I wanted to move on with my life. Yes, I was furious, but I told myself that I didn’t want to hold grudges. When I forgave him, I started my healing journey."
Life has not stopped. Instead, the vision for their life has become bigger. Sam now works for H&M as a visual merchandiser/stylist.
"I wanted people to see that I am living my best life and draw inspiration from me. This didn’t stop me from achieving my goals. I became stronger. I want young queer people to be motivated, and all they need to look after themselves. I encourage people to test regularly before getting sick," they say.
If you do test positive, Sam has this to say: "It is okay. There is life after that. Don't let stigma kill you." By sharing their journey, Sam has helped others disclose their status too, making their life feel purposeful.
Their next dream is to work on radio and TV.
- If you take HIV medicine and get and keep an undetectable viral load, you will not transmit HIV to your sex partner.
- Most people will need to be on treatment for 7 to 12 months to have a durably undetectable viral load. It is essential to take every pill every day to maintain durably undetectable status.
- South African Health Products Regulatory Authority, has registered the HIV prevention jab, CAB-LA. It virtually eliminates your chances of contracting HIV through sex but it will be costly.
- If you have HIV and take HIV medicine as prescribed throughout your pregnancy and childbirth and give HIV medicine to your baby for 2-6 weeks after giving birth, your risk of transmitting HIV to your baby can be less than 1%. As long as your viral load remains undetectable, you can have a normal delivery.
