I am crying most of the time during the day. I try to control it but fail. I leave all my friends. I sleep in a dark room. I don't want to talk to anybody. I lost myself.
Sounds very like you have developed a Depression, doesn't it ? It's a common condition, most unpleasant, and in it's sneaky way, it tends to rob us of our sense of hope. Falsely but sincerely, we feel things won't get better, though they will. It's not your fault that you got this way
You shouldn't try to handle this struggle all on your own. You will certainly be able to find yourself again : but do inform your family and ask for their support and encouragement, and make sure, as soon as possible, that you see at least a GP, preferably, if possible, a specialist psychiatrist, for a proper assessment, diagnosis and a discussion of your treatment options. You can see someone privately, or through your nearest provincial hospital or clinic. Be frank and tell them all about how awful you've been feeling, and work with them to put things right. This may well involve using some medicines for depression, and if possible some special counselling called CBT. While it takes some time to make a full recovery, you should begin to feel better before long.
You can also call the national hotline of an organization call SADAG, which may have some local support groups you could usefully attend.
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