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Posted by: Hlulani | 24/11/2018

Pushing my friends away

Why do I always push my friends away and always look for reasons to hate them. Every time when I meet someone new in my love life  or a boyfriend I always look for reasons to make sure that I hate them. Like I think bad about them and feel like they don't love me and they don't care about me then I push them away so I could stay all alone ..and I like being alone but feel lonely sometimes as if there's no one for me in the world ??


Posted 26/11/2018

Hello Hlulani,
Well, of course if you push everyone away as you describe, you're not likely to meet any of the many people with whom you could enjoy friendship or more.  What would most help you would be to see a counsellor ; through a clinic, or church or school, to talk through this. 
I sometimes find the issue is, for instance, that the person has a very low opinion of herself . Maybe she had one or two really bad experiences in the past of being rejected by someone he thought was a friend. But she then, unfortunately, adopts this policy of finding fault with other people, even if they're really nice, before they can find fault with her.  So she finds reasons to reject them before they can reject her ( even if in fact they were not at all going to reject her )  So she hurts herself every time, rather than run the risk we all run, that just occasionally, hey might have turned out to be hurtful.  It's like buying a large box of eggs, then throwing them all out, one by one, because you worry that one of them might be a bad egg. 
What do other readers think, based on their own experience ?
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